Matilda, I've been listening to self-help podcasts in the car to help manage the emotions. I like dharma talks that discuss Buddhist concepts. I've listened to talks on suffering, thinking, and communication.
My W's emails continue to point out her perspective that I'm difficult to live with (moody, negative, sullen), and that I need to work on respectful communication. I can always improve communication and conflict management. I can always improve emotional management. I responded that I agree with respectful communication as something to continually strive for.
The talk on communication points out that communication should be truthful, kind, helpful, and timely, otherwise it shouldn't be said. I'll give that some thought.
A problem is what to do, when one is struggling with emotions and is not available to be present, such as I was this past week. Maybe I expect my W to read my mind, and know that I'm upset because of her sleeping elsewhere. When I'm home, my W expects me to be present.
It would be easier if my W conveyed that she was working on something for the sake of the M. I know that one should put their energy into working on themselves, and not changing the other person, so I won't get into a power struggle over who's working harder on the M.
The thinking tape disucssed how most of our thoughts are not true, and that we need to learn to just them let pass, and not attend to every one of them.
I keep working on writing and reading poetry in the mornings.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
