Five, Four, Three, Two, One....

[Cloudnine]

And another thing, now that it's morning and I feel like being blunt:

Exactly what goes on inside a woman (i.e. my W) who has next to her in bed a good looking man (no Mel Gibson, but a good looking man who's horny as heck) who loves giving her oral sex, and has the tool to hit the spots to bring her to orgasm every time, NOT WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT AS MUCH AS SHE CAN??? It's hard sometimes to think there's NOT something wrong with my W. I'm a good lay going to waste. What's THAT all about? Any LD's care to respond?

[Corri]

Brian:

Good morning.

Imagine yourself lying in bed, scared shitless your wife is going to turn you down again.

Imagine her lying in bed, scared shitless her husband is going to try again, and for the life of her, she has no will to respond.

Imagine two people lying in the same bed. One speaks french, one speaks greek, and both are completely perplexed why they cannot communicatie because neither will learn the language of the other.

Imagine two people, afraid to risk yet another failure, take another knife in the gut by the one person they love the most.

Imagine two people who can't quite bring themselves to ground zero of vulnerability -- and who could blame them for all the pain they have suffered, unintentionally, at each other's hands, and continue to suffer at each others hands, and will continue to suffer at each others' hands until one of them has the courage to risk all and break the pattern.

It has nothing to do with how good looking you are and what kind of lover you are.

Corri

[Crazy_Jim]

Not bad Corri. Good stuff.

Cloudy

I think Corri has a some interesting thinking going on here, it's a good approach. Might want to give it a shot.

Crazy Jim

[Trying24now]

Corri,
That was the first of your posts that I've read and I must tell you...it was fantastic.
T2

[VAnot4lovers]

Cathy --

Thanks, I hope it helps. My wife gets home today (actually late tonight or early tomorrow morning) and we'll see how it goes. Between both of us being sleep-deprived and school starting Tuesday, hopefully any craziness will be minimal or written off to timing. She sees her doctor Friday, and I'll go if I can (hopefully the briefing runs short...). I wonder how much to bring up so as not to overwhelm things, i.e., eating the elephant one bite at a time. I think I've gotten some good advice and ideas from the BB.

I'll have a lot less time to look at the board once she gets back. If a long time passes with no word, either things are going well or I've managed to "....make [her] angry." I expect they'll at least change. Well, I've got to finish the laundry and otherwise get the house ready for her. Keep the good words coming (and stay away from the Chinese; we have enough problems there as it is )!

[Cloudnine]

I'm beyond being scared shitless of being rejected. I expect it from her, so I don't even try.

If she is scared shitless of me touching her, she has never even articulated this.

Nice scenario, Corri, but you must be thinking of another couple. I began this morning trying your advice; my wife wanted to join other parents and kids at some beach function she put together. I told her that I'd prefer not to go, and that she should have fun. Immediately, her face fell, and the guilt trip began. Long story short, I reluctantly gave in, and will go. That's better than being accused of being anti-family, a bad father, and arguing needlessly back and forth. I'm so sick of this s**t.

[Patsi]

Brian,

I have another suggestion for you. From what you have said about your wife it may go over like a lead balloon. But maybe this suggestion may help someone out there.

Go out and buy 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex - Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples and 101 Nights of Grrreat Romance. Suggest to your wife that you would like to try a different approach in the romance department. If she is agreeable, say you mutually agree on a date night once per week and you each take turns picking one of the scenarios outlined in the book. This gets awat from the routine, canned, approach to love making that can result after years of marriage to the same person. Also I can say for myself I certainly would enjoy the suspense and build up during the week wondering what form of unique entertainment my husband had planned for me when it was his turn to plan the seduction . My husband has a birthday coming up as well, I think I know what books he will be getting. I will hide them from my teen-agers.

Also, several female friends of mine use the testosterone cream to enhance their libido. Next time you massage her feet how about using a little of that cream?

Good luck, Hang in there,
Patsi

[Cloudnine]

The cream is a good idea. Is that over-the-counter?

The books we tried YEARS ago. They ended up in the trash. I think she was truly uncomfortable doing those things. I had fun though, while it lasted. They're good books, if you have the right partner.

[Patsi]

Brian,

I believe the testosterone cream requires a prescription.

Patsi

[VAnot4lovers]

Patsi --

I can't speak to Brian's wife (although like you I have a guess) but I know "lead balloon" wouldn't begin to describe my wife's reaction. As for the testosterone cream, I assume it's working for your friends, and good for them. I'm not sure where one would get it, although I could probably find it online if I looked. However, as above, I really don't think my W would be agreeable if I asked.

Theoretically, I could not ask and use it anyway (I'm always rubbing feet, back, sore joints, etc.). Even if it did work, I wouldn't want to be too close (as in on the same continent ) when she found out. Otherwise we're back to Marines, Cathy, large green mutants, and the half-million homicidal Chinese! Maybe after some progress, but not right now. Thanks.