Detaching is a big part of it. It takes practice. Don't allow yourself to think about what H is doing, and when you start, make a conscious effort to stop. Eventually, it becomes habit.
I found that taking a leap of faith helped me. I knew that no matter what, the control of the situation was out of my hands, and I let God handle it. It took the pressure off of me to do the right thing, say the right thing. And by taking the pressure off of me, it allowed me to take the pressure off of my H. And he started to call more often.
Now, the key to this is that I don't expect anything. If he calls, great. If he doesn't, that is okay too. I have realized that what he is going through is not about me. It is about him, and he needs to deal with it. I don't have any power or control over his emotions, his feelings. I have accepted the fact that I still love him, will probably always love him, no matter what. And that is as far as it goes. When I can help, I do. When I can't, I just listen.
Having my faith has been incredible. It has allowed me to love my H unconditionally, even if right now he feels he cannot love me back.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
