Is it OK not to feel anything?

[Astimegoeson]

I took my S(8) to his basketball game this morning. I got a call from the ex about an hour before the game saying she was going to come and watch as well. I told her we would look for her.

When I arrived and started walking to the gym with my S, the ex yelled out to us from behind to slow down. We waited for her to catch up and proceeded towards the gym. As we were approaching the doors, I was a step or two a head of both S and ex. I looked behind at them and caught the ex checking my arse out. She looked up quickly with no expression as she tried to deflect the thought that I had seen her checking my arse out.

During the game, she asked me if I was still seeing my gf. I simply said yes. She frowned it went momentarily silent. She didn't ask for more info. We spoke about S and school and other things concerning our S's welfare.

After the game, I took her and my S out to breakfast. As we were conversing with our S, he brought up the fact he had made a mistake on an inbound pass from the sideline and was a little down on himself about it. My ex told him that she makes mistakes to and then in a lower tone of voice added that.. "She's made some big ones over the past 3 years". She looked at me and then quickly looked back at our S. I know it was her way of trying to apologize.

I really do forgive her, but I can't go back. I can be her friend now, but never a lover anymore.