WAW - yet another one

[confusedinpa]

Now's I'm even more confused/anxious. I'm on the verge of a panic attack but can't call any of my friends/support as they are all out with their spouse and/or families.

After we put the kids to bed, I asked my wife if she was going to come back down. She said yes (we touched checks - we normally kiss when we put the kids to bed).

She came down and laid down on the couch and complained about her stomach. I said her that I presume we're not going to watch "Lost" tonite - we had been watching, starting in season 1, for the last 3 nites. She said probably wont be able to through her eyelids. The laundry dryer stopped so I grabbed it (it was mostly my dress clothes) to hang them up. She came up still in her funk. I asked her if she needed some alone time (we had normally been going to bed together, but 8:30 is a little early, even when I'm trying to spend time with her). Fortunately she said yes and I just said good nite (no hug or kiss) and closed the bedroom door.

She had a bad afternoon as it was suppose be a "girls" day, that she decided at the last minute not to go to. Then I encouraged her to go and have some me time (something I never did in the past). She went and got her fingernails and feet done. She came back all upset because the girl who did them did a really bad job.

On the way home, she picked up something that she had been craving for dinner. When we ate it, it was not what she had expected it would taste like, so we tossed most of it. Which is why her stomach is bothering her tonite.

Our day started out well - we went to soccer and after we got back and shoveled the driveway, we went out shopping as a family. Before we went out, we each had a shot of tequilla - she has small bottles of it with the worm in it. We had, what I thought was a good time (she even said she enjoyed it).

Then prior to the kids getting their bath, she started to talk about how she's struggling how to move forward with the seperation - from a logistics perspective. I think she has really given up trying to find a reason to try. She has vented on Thurs that she wished that I hadn't "gotten it" now as it would have been a lot easier. She even vented in about why life has to be so complicated.

I have no idea what to do.

Perhaps she's confused.

Perhaps she's made up her mind to not even consider a chance anymore and she's afraid to tell me

Perhaps she's just had a bad day and needs alone time

Perhaps?????

What's really odd is her mom called all upset that she had a bad feeling and just wanted to make sure everything was ok tonite.

No idea.

I guess I just have to remind myself I am doing everything that I can. It's up to her as well to save the relationship - and the family.

I do know not to press her on a relationship discussion. It's killing me not to press her to talk about it - odd as in the past I wouldn't talk about and she kept pressuring me. Now it's the other way around.

I must go on......