Divorce looming #4

[K4D]

I hope you are right Melissa. I guess I don't have any boundaries. And I'm not sure where I end and she begins. I just know I want things to be good again. But that ain't gonna happen.

I think moving on actually scares me some. I'm not Don Juan. I'm not looking to just hook up with someone else.

I always took great comfort in her. To much. Now I am finding that thinking about not having her is very scary. I will finally have to learn how to be on my own like alot of people in life.

Its a new road for me. Its not one I ever thought would happen. I guess I have never had much confidence and security in myself. I never really had to. And now I will have to learn how. I don't like being by myself. I never have. It gets to me. And she is the one that I am secure around which is probably not healthy.

Maybe Florida will help me break that. She won't be staying in touch with me much which will force me to try and move on. It will be hard in the coming months though when I come back to visit and when I come back to stay with them while I look for a job.

She told me not to ask her to sleep with me over springbreak, that today was it. I said ok.

I'm trying to think of what I should do while I am in Florida when I am not studying. I might join a softball team.

Kevin