The Unfaithful Wife - That's Still Me #3

[Hope4us]

I'm happy to hear that you're talking to a C and he/she is helping you. Whatever happens it sounds like you'll be ok. Might not be what you want, but you'll be ok. And I can just imagine how it must have been for him to discover that not only had his W cheated on him last year, but had done it before 3 years ago. Right now he doesn't know what is real and what isn't real in his life. More on this at the end.

Don't think because he wants to "be with you" that it's not a PA. My W and I regularily ML right up until the bomb. I'm talking 3-4 times a week while she was being with OM 1-2 times per week at the same time (she was a busy girl!). My take on it is he's confused and isn't quite sure he wants to have it end with you, but he doesn't want to give up OW either because she's "safe".

As to whether you just "bend over" or not is up to you. If you want to ML with your husband, then do it. Don't do it to try to entice him back. There are some people who advocate that women continue ML with their wayward H's to keep that connection. I'm the H in my sitch, so I can't say whether to do so or not. But do it only if YOU want to and can handle knowing that he's probably being with OW too.

I'm not saying be a doormat. Not by any stretch. But you have to decide what's best for you. Can you continue this way? If not, then maybe it's time to go a little dark on him. He knows you want to reconcile correct? So if he's still coming to you to have his needs filled all must not be perfect in lala land. Only question is can you handle it the way it is?

Now a little on how he's feeling. My W had never given me any thing to worry about throughout our marriage. But since her A, there are just so many things that go through my mind. That one time when we were living together before we got married and she had a hair appt in our work city so we drove to work separate that day. She decided to go out with a GF for drinks. Never came home. It was a good idea not to drive 45 minutes after drinking, but now I wonder if she spent the night with an old boyfriend or some random hook up even though when asked GF about it she said no that W just had too much to drink and spent the night at her apartment. Another time. W went to Myrtle Beach for a few days with a GF. GF's H (and GF too) went to school together and when W and I got together, GF and W became good friends. So when they were done in Myrtle Beach they had to drive to Charlotte to catch a plane. GF had some clients (she was a travel agent) that she'd become friends with in Charlotte so W and GF spent the night there prior to catching their flight. When she got home she was telling me all about her trip and told me about the BIL of this client. How he was hitting on her and she thought he was a zero and blew him off. A couple years later W and I were in the Smoky Mtn's National Park. We rented some intertubes and were floating down a river in the park. There was one place where probably 300 people had gathered in this pool before shooting the rapids. We were there for a bit and W almost had a panic attack because she saw the BIL from Charlotte. Mind you, there were 300 people and she'd seen him once for a few hours 3 years before, but she wanted to get out of that area so he wouldn't possibly recognize her. I thought it was weird at the time, but now I wonder if she hooked up with him that night in Charlotte. My friend D (the GF W was with) says they didn't have the time for it to happen, but who knows. There are a few other times that things happened that in the past never gave me any worry that something might have happened with W and some guy, but now I just don't know.

Sorry that was long, but I wanted to try to show you what is probably going on in his head.

Hope this helps.