Spellfire # 3 - Need a campfire here

[spellfire]

I think you are right. It could be months before she picks up that book. Maybe she never will.

The problem with non-sexual touching is that if it is not in passing, she thinks it is done with an agenda. Yes, this is my fault, since I would use non-sexual touching to get her relaxed prior to moving on to sexual touching in the past. Well, partially my fault...I will not assume full responsibility since she actually trained me to be this way by responding to it, while consistently turning me down when I initiated in other normal and healthy ways.

I think the answer is in separating the two fully from here on out, and reinforcing my intentions with verbal communication so she knows what to expect.

Okay, so my new goal is not for her to read the first two chapters (that's just bonus points at this stage), instead it is to touch her non-sexually at least once a day. Criteria:

1. It must be significant touching, not something done in passing. A long hug, holding her, a back rub, foot massage etc.

2. I must communicate to her what my intentions are so she can relax and enjoy it without worrying about it turning sexual.

3.I should be the one to break it off.

4. I must truly be doing it to make her feel good and because i enjoy just being near her (which I do), and not with the hope that she will "pay me back with sex" (covert contract). If I catch myself with this expectation, I should not do it at all. This will take mental awareness and discipline.

Thanks Pearl, perfect advice and perfect timing.