I switched Gears right away. I think it would have just been better if I had to say anything at all would have been. "That sounds like fun."
It's hard "suppressing" things I have "learned" from the past with a new GF or not. I was so trusting...Even if I was "dating" someone New / Different. I would remember (like the first time you touched a hot pan and got burnt) How trusting I was with her trip and how she called me with the OM right there.
But that is the past right? BTW I did burn my arm the other night on the oven while baking a pie. The next day when I was putting in a frozen Pizza Getting burned again was the first thing I thought about..LOL
Nope, tonight it will be just me and my Dog. I will wish them well when they leave and ask all about it when they get back...
Later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
So yesterday W took her mom to the hair dressers. I stayed home and cleaned carpets. When Wife got back she said her mom jokes about hopping into my Mustang (I keep it in her Garage, she has no car) and coming over to see me because I was going to be all alone that night when W and son went to the movies. I laughed and said "ya right" I told her I was going to go over her Mom's house on Sunday to work in the Mustang. W said that she needed to go over there also because she needed to clean up her mom's kitchen.( MIL eye sight is going) and then W said that when she was over there she had to use MIL bathroom and it was "discussing". I told wife that when I went over there I would clean the bathroom.(Wife HATES cleaning bathrooms) she said that would be nice. So wife left for the movies and I told them both to have a good time. I stayed When they got home I asked if they had a good time and they both said yes. I asked if it was a movie that I should see in a theater or was it on that I could just wait for it to come out on DVD. Wife said she did not think it was a movie I would like.(they went to see twilight). So this morning I got up and went to MIL house to clean her bathroom. I am amazed how when you become aware of the words you use how they stand out. I mean most of us say things (automatically). But with the Doc trying to become a better person I am not only listening to others. I am also listening to myself. While over MIL house she started telling me about a Nephew that was fixing up her brothers p/u that he inherited. (This was a really nice truck when he got it but it has now sat for 6 yrs and deteriorated). I said "that was a nice truck already when he got it,if he would have taken care of it he would not have had to fix it up again"
OK AFTER I said this I thought.... why could I have not just said "that’s great"? Why did I have to say the NEGATIVE? I am on a journey now to improve myself. They say that nobody can change anybody else.. But I have to disagree. I am finding that when I have changed the way I have been saying things and acting around situations the other party also has a changed attitude.
Well got ta go Stay tuned in for more of
"As the Doc's world turns"
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
In the reading I have been doing the book said that in the corridors of your heart there is a room called the "Appreciation room" On the walls of this room a written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of my wife. Written here are words that she is a great cook, great in math, she has Beautiful eyes, Pretty Smile and all of the things I appreciate in her. But down the dark corridor of my heart there is another room.” the Depreciation Room". On the walls of this room are the things that bother and irritate me about my wife. Written on the wall of this room is the OM phone Number, I have posted the Pictures of my wife with the OM. I have written things like "she doesn't care" and "they are a pair now".. I have been going back and forth between these to rooms for the last 2 years. I never realized it.I would some how wander into the Depreciation Room and spend some time there. Whenever I spent time in the Depreciation Room I have been ready to give up. I was that much closer to a Divorce. Luckily I did leave this room every now and then and went back to the Appreciation room and would try again. They say with knowledge comes wisdom. Since I have read this I now realize what I was doing. What has happened these last few days is that I have become aware if these two rooms. I still forget and I do open the door to the Depreciation Room. But as soon I looked in I realize where I am and close the door quick. This has helped me keep my PMA. I am not there yet, I am far from it. But I have seen a small change in my wife. This weekend she was supposed to move out of son's room. I asked her if she was planning on sleeping there tonight. (I noticed she had not set up the other bedroom yet) she said she has not had time. I told her "ya I know, now that you are working you get home late" she said she was going to work on it during the week. I said that's fine I was just asking... Tonight before I go to bed I am going to tell her "You know you can always come back to our room. It is a big bed and I promise I will not bite ya"
Later Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
1. Before Wife left for her mothers she gave me instructions on what time to put the dinner she prepared in the oven if she was not home in time what to add and when to do it. I did my duties as instructed. When Wife got home from her mothers, Dinner was ready to be taken out. I walked into the kit ion and Wife was opening a bottle of wine. She asked me if I wanted wine with dinner also. (I usually don't have wine with dinner but I thought the offer was nice so I said yes. She proceeded to tell me that she was not sure if this was the same wine because she could not quite remember the name but the wine she had on her last "girl's night out" was really good. She sat at the dinner table with me and she talked about her job. She talked about her hair cut she got that day and how she did not like the last one she got and how this was much better. I told her I liked it because it was longer in front and the last was short in front and made her face look..........then I caught myself about to say something Negative and as I searched for the right words.. She said "fat". I said well not really but this hair cut does frame your face better. (Fat was what I was thinking.) I told her that this was a really good cut of meat. She said thanks and THEN thanked me for putting it in the oven for her. I said no problem. Now this might not sound like a big deal to you all but.. Wife has very rarely thanked me for anything. IT's like everything I do around the house, her moms, and my moms is my duty to do. So this was a new experience for me to be thanked. So I was a great listener at dinner... later
2. So One of Our fish had been Sick all day. I knew it was not going to make it and just hoped it would be over before I went to work. I did not want Wife to have to deal with it, and I could not just take it out of the tank because son was worried and if I just put it out son would be hurt.(this was a large fish. It weighed 10 oz). Well after dinner I noticed wife standing next to the tank rubbing the side of the glass where the fish was laying. Hit me strange because wife has had a "as if" attitude towards these fish in the past. Anyway a little while later I noticed the fish had died. Wife and son came over to the tank as I scooped it up and put it into a plastic bag. Son wanted to bury it in our garden. Wife was holding the bag in the palm of her hand and was petting the side if the fish (through the bag). You could tell she really felt bad that the fish had died. I have not seen this type of reaction in wife in a long time. Up until now it seemed that nothing else in the world mattered to her except her.... It was late so I suggested we put the fish into the freezer until today and then we can bury it after I get home from work.
Well that is about it for now Stay tuned....
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
"Tonight before I go to bed I am going to tell her "You know you can always come back to our room. It is a big bed and I promise I will not bite ya""
Doc,
I think this is a great idea. It at least opens the door to that possibility, a door that she may think is closed. I have wondered whether her dragging her feet in terms of moving into her "own room" has to do with her not wanting to have her own room in an official way, or has to do with you trying to make her do it.
You letting her know that you open open to an "our room" allows her that opportunity and removes the pressure.
I think this is a great idea. It at least opens the door to that possibility, a door that she may think is closed. I have wondered whether her dragging her feet in terms of moving into her "own room" has to do with her not wanting to have her own room in an official way, or has to do with you trying to make her do it.
You letting her know that you open open to an "our room" allows her that opportunity and removes the pressure.
OT, I had the same thought...but with the fish and all I did not have the opertunity last night. I will "open the door" today...
doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
