Wish I could help. I think it's probably best to have small goals that focus on your behavior rather than W's. We all know how that goes, waiting for them to do something. It's been a while since I read SSM, but I seem to recall some things HDS can do for LDS to make them feel comfortable. Perhaps if you're in the sitch again you can offer to rub her back or feet and then you be the first one to leave and go to bed. That way she sees that you are all spruced up for her but non-sexual touching can also be the result of that preparation. Might reduce her anxiety level.
I knew that when xBF would shave before coming to bed that he expected sex. It would have been great if once or twice he would have used the opportunity for a great passionate make out session and left it at that. Then I wouldn't automatically think, "uh oh, here it comes" every time I heard his razor.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
