Last night I was hoping for a repeat of the previous Friday night. D4 was already asleep when I came home. I showered up and made sure I smelled good, then sat with W for a while but didn't mention anything. I'm pretty sure she knew what I wanted since she seemed tense when I sat with her, then she kissed me goodnight and went upstairs to sleep. Left me feeling alone and empty inside. The temptation to revert to old destructive habits was strong, but I resisted and went to bed at a reasonable hour.
She still hasn't picked up SSM. Guess I am more than a little frustrated today. Maybe it is a bad idea to have the next step in my journey depend on her? I have tried talking to her and having an internet blog, but she has resisted listening to what I have to say in both. I feel like I am in SSM limbo.
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
