No, I never ended the marriage in my heart, this is not what I wanted but I gave up living the life of hope and moved on. The sad part about all of this is in my mind, I don't know that I will ever let the marriage go because this is not what I wanted. To the same degree, I couldn't just sit around waiting for that hope any longer, it was time for me to find happiness again.
Did I find happiness in my relationship today? Yes I did, does that still mean that I have closed the door to ever reconcile with W, no I haven't at least not until it is too late.
My W made me to believe that she was never coming back, what is someone to do, sit around and rot? I did that for 10 months and saw absolutely no hope in my sitch so I did what I had to do. I can tell you that I am a much stronger person today because of all of this.
I see where you all are coming from, I need to lay low and see where this leads. I will know in due time if any of this means anything at all.
I am going to have the talk with GF with the emotions I am feeling, when we first started dating I told her that if W ever came back to me then I would be open to it so I did let her know that although 4 months later I'm sure it will be a much harder conversation. Part of me thinks she will stay in it with me to see if anything comes from it and another part thinks she may run.
This is very tough and just like D, I don't wish it on anyone.
