The house is on the market

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Julia,

Good luck with the viewing! Their a pain hey, having to keep the house tidy.

My cat had £6,500 spent on him before he died! And was whisked 200 miles on the back seat of a cat on a drip to a specialist Feline Hospital! Thats cat love for you! We're all cat lovers here! He was insured. I also used Bach flower remedies on my cat...use Walnut for change and letting go of the past, particularly before a house move, 1-2 drops on their food I believe (or half whatever the human dose is a day).. and start doing it a couple of weeks before the move. Thats a long way off though, if you havent had an offer.

I'm sorry you have to sell your house, that sucks, but its amazing how positive you are through it all, this has been such a bitter pill to swallow, but you are doing so with grace.

I was shocked when you said this though "..especially as I can't really talk to people in RL about this stuff."

Wow.. really? Why is that? I am still talking to those closest to me on a daily basis.. someone asks every day I mean, whats the latest, how are you feeling today? Either my Mum, or one of my two BFF, or now Cher, sometimes my sister, other friends.. but I'd say there isnt a day goes by someone doesnt check in with me about it and how I feel about my loss.. because it is, its like a death. If your H had died, I'd be equally shocked that 10 months after he was finally gone, you felt you couldnt talk to anyone about him/your grief.

So..I was just curious as to why that was, and if its healthy for you to have to pin on a front and not mention that you still think about him, especially as you were M and then he left within the year. Is it you, could you open up more to people around you? Have you, or would you go to IC even? (I have been going weekly, apart from the odd gap, for a year and it shows too, because I'm not the person I used to be!). Anyway, just wanted to raise this and not skip on by it.. perhaps like people in RL are doing with you !!

As for his email.. I know its so hard to read isnt it. I had an email off my ex this week, that in NO WAY belies what he actually feels and confided to BMF. Not a glimmer. So, who knows? I get the impression he is trying to be very very nice.. remember what my therapist said about animals often being the vessel for communication between people when its difficult to show emotion to one another? So.. in showing great concern and care for your cat and saying "give her a kiss for me".. he is showing care and concern and love for you. Shes just a cat for godsakes! NOW.. I'm not saying thats romantic love, or he wants back, or has changed his mind, or any of that.. but I think it DOES show that he still cares about you and thinks of you and wants you to be ok... afterall, he's not a b*stard, right?

Were you planning to reply to it? He did ask you two questions, I noticed.. Thinking of you,
Al xxx