Tonight is one of those nights when I can feel the loneliness pressing in on me from all sides with a metallic tang. I know it's going to pass by tomorrow. I know it's all for the best. I know that in time I'll look back and find it hard to think I ever spent much time thinking about it.
But right now the desire to call her or stop by and spend the evening together is overwhelming. Like an itch. I can't mentally share with anyone else the way we shared. I chose her, and I was rejected by her. And I'm haunted by images of how much fun her life must be while I'm still picking up the pieces.
Ah well. It'll pass. Part of it is work - Friday night and I have to do schoolwork because I want to have at least a few hours this weekend. It all feels a bit out of control right now. Suppose that's part of the process.
No worries - this probably sounds pathetic but I'm just venting on a rainy cold dark night when I have to be alone. lodo
