My wife and I are doing very well. Our Retro weekend is 2/20-22, and I can't wait! I know she's a little anxious (she does NOT like dealing with her own chit), but the fact that she readily agreed to go this time was huge. We're getting along great, go on dates every weekend, and have each been making efforts to meet each other's physical and emotional needs.
A big step for us happened yesterday. I received a bonus from work, and I bought her a laptop for her to use for her business (and for fun). I gave her a nice card, thanking her for helping me have my best year ever, and in the card was a note that said "It's all yours, and it's 100% keylogger-free."
She wrote me this e-mail this morning:
P,
I know this is a thank you for your thank you, but I still wanted to send it. Sort of like sending a thank you note for a thank you note. But oh well.
I just wanted to thank you for giving me this great laptop. Even though I had an idea when you asked me what color I liked, it still was a surprise that you thought to buy it for me.
You don't have to thank me for helping you achieve your bonus, but I appreciate the acknowledgement. You know that I have always been your biggest supporter, and I will continue to help you achieve your goals, just as you help me. I guess that's how a "team" works, right? I know this wasn't an inexpensive gift, and I thank you with all my heart for caring enough about me to buy it.
Love you,
S xxxoooh!
I wrote her back:
S,
You're very welcome! I'd wanted to get you one for a long long time, and this was the first I'd ever been able to afford it. From the days of the old Gateway in the great room on (our old street), you've seemingly ALWAYS put yourself last for a "turn" at the computer, so it was nice to bless you with one of your own after all these years.
I really mean it when I say "team," and even in our crappiest relationship days (and there were still some of those in 2008), your hard work still helped me achieve what I've been able to achieve financially, and so I truly feel that it -- as all our income has always been -- is "ours" not "mine."
TEAM.
I also meant it when I said 18 months ago that my asking for your transparency wouldn't be a forever thing. It was high time to lose the keylogger (altho I still want it in place for the boys, as I did for the girls originally) to keep them safe. You have my word as a man and a Christian that your activity on that computer is totally private. You are an adult, S, and I never wanted to do that to begin with, but felt I needed to in order to help re-build my trust, considering what happened. And you have done that and I have appreciated your noticeable efforts at sharing your daily schedule with me and doing other things to comfort me and help me trust you. You may not think I notice, but I DO.
Anyway, that was a sidetrack, but "YOU'RE WELCOME!" :o) I'm really glad you like it, and just let me know if you need any help setting it up to your liking.
All my Love,
P
She wrote ME back:
Ok, thanks, I'm sure I will be calling on your computer expertise more than a few times.
P, I appreciate your trust in me again. It means a lot to me.
Love, S
It's been a wild ride, and we're still riding. We have a long row to hoe with the SSM, but I feel like a team again, and making real progress. As I write this, we are both on our laptops, on opposite couches, and for the first time in two years I have no clue who she's chatting with or what she's doing on there.
