Her whole life she's always been a "good girl," and she was brought up in a very Christian home. I'm pretty sure that what I'm seeing is her being absolutely racked by guilt and shame for what she's done.
Wow! You just described me! That is why my H was so shocked and why he trusted me as long as he did b/c never would I have thought of even looking at another man, let along do what I did. Plus, I was terrified of anyone finding out. I was so scared, but at the same time, I was so "fogged out of my mind" that I could not think rationally. I honestly thought that if anyone found out and I was exposed to "everyone", then I would just go live with the OM. After all, he told me that he would come get me if I just gave him the word. (As if it would have worked out with me staying with him!) See how stupid women in a EA can be? They are so deep in a make-believe world they have created in their minds that everything is suppose to just turn out rosy. He probably would have kicked me out on the streeet the first day he got tired of me or pissed off about something. Oh, he sounded "dreamy" when he talked to me about how it would be. He knew all the things I wanted to hear. He was good at what he did. But, as I just told another poster, it is scary to think of all the bad things he could have done to me if I had ever met up with him in person. I was being a bad girl then, for sure. For the first time in my life.......but I think that added to the excitment of it.... b/c I had never done anything "bad" like that before. I am wondering if your wife thinks by being that good girl that she missed out on having good times. It is amazing how movies and books can influence people's minds.
That brings me to her "dating other men". One reason I said that she may have been so emotional b/c she was telling you "good-bye" in her own mind, if she is already planning to date. I mean, obviously she has been giving this a lot of thought, right? Perhaps she is tired of living the good girl image and see what it is like to live on the other side of Christian values. However, unless she is ready to jump in with the wolves, she may discover that the dating game is not what it was when she was dating you.
So, with you going "dark", she may get her fill of the party scene soon and go looking for you. May not be soon enough if you really intend to move on b/c she may discover you don't want her in your life any longer. Guess that will be a wait and see thing. You sound very strong and determined right now, but you surely know there will be some tough days ahead of you. However, you can come here to your old friends and we will listen to whatever you want to say. (And then we will probably put in our two cents worth.)
Hope you will go make a good weekend for yourself. Please be careful and take good care. Post often so we won't lose contact with you.
Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
b/c I had never done anything "bad" like that before. I am wondering if your wife thinks by being that good girl that she missed out on having good times. It is amazing how movies and books can influence people's minds.