\My wife is going to leave me in 5 days--help!

[AFWAW]

Yeah, I know what you mean but it's been a while for me and I was weak. I honestly have not seen any indications that she has had an affair. She told me the other day on the phone point blank when I asked that she would not have sex with other men until we were divorced. She openly admitted to going out to bars a few times while I was gone--out of character for her. I know I can't necessarily believe her right now but I don't believe at least a PA. Maybe a EA--asked about that too--she however has been open about who she talks to for emotional support and is even talking to me about things they talk about--she's not being ugly about anything. I just keep listening and don't get defensive and agree ocassionally. I want her to stay but she doesn't want to. She even is making phone calls in front of me, leaving cell phone laying around, etc. No indications so far to make me believe it, however I am very wary. She is very adamant that she doesn't want a man in her life right now and I know for a fact she would never swing the other way.

She has set it up so it is affordable for me to stay in the house. She already has an apartment picked out and keeps asking if I'm ok--I know she's feeling guilty about doing this as she is not taking any furniture, just her clothes and personal items--keeps on saying I'm a good man. I keep saying the wrong things--no. Think its a combo of jet lag and emotions. Did pretty good tonight--she claims she doesn't want to sleep here tonight cause we talked a lot last night and she wants to sleep--I can see that.
It is like she is a totally different person. She told me last night that when she made up her mind to leave was last Sep. I was in Iraq and she went on a cruise with the kids--I was a little miffed cause I wanted to go--was I a jerk about, perhaps--she told me she figured I didn't want her to be happy and she was tired of it. Ok, I'll buy that I said but hey I'm different too. She asked how--told her I seen a lot of guys get dear John letters/phone calls in Iraq and how they acted, etc--spent a lot of time listening to those guys, trying to comfort them, etc. Really opened my eyes to how I had been to my wife in the past. Made up my mind to do the research and really show her when I got home. She said it's too late--but her fault as she allowed me to not be affectionate--she is basically a total different person--I don't even recognize who she is. She keeps giving me compliments about being skinny--she is being too nice for this. I asked what is the deal, why are you being so nice? She said I didn't do anything wrong so why should I get slammed with bills, leaving the house, etc. I seriously think this is just a WAW that is tired of being trapped in marraige--she has never been alone and wants to be by herself. I am of course very hurt and want to help so bad but she doesn't want any so I am doing my best to give her space--it f$$$ing hurts bad not to be able to hold her and tell her how I feel.

Thanks for the input Puppy, bottom line, I am not moving out of the house and don't plan to make any major life decisions right now. Gonna try to relax, breathe deep and take one day at a time. Lucky for me I have enough leave to take a month off and just chill.

Did a pretty cool 180 on her today--I used to drink quite a bit--not alcoholic like but enough where I could hold my own--she was like its Friday, aren't you going to have a few drinks? I said no, I lost 25 pounds in desert, I'm not going to drink a whole bunch of empty calories my first week back--I think she was flabbergasted.