I am very tired and trying to think of soemthing to help the 'puzzle' you have ...I think you should let your walls down, let your anger go.. instead of get "excited" or mad, when he tells you about work.. can you simply say, I feel hurt you dont want to spend time with me, but swapped your day off? I dont get angry, rarely.. I go straight to tears, because thats what anger is, its hurt isnt it and underneath the anger is the hurt and upset.. but you dont show him that, you just show him the anger and it p*sses him off and he gets angry back (maybe he doesnt show you his hurt?)..
so why do you keep doing that? Getting mad, or irritated as soon as you see him? Is it because you are still so hurt and he has done little to relieve or mend that? Are you afraid to let him back into your soul in case he wreaks more damage? I dont know, just asking !!
Lastly, I thought Lanzo's observaton was very insightful and we touched on this, that he is still in contact with OW and I asked you how much was she still in his head and a threat to this reconciliation.. and as Lanzo said.. he is using work as a smokescreen to 'avoid' letting you get too close.. I thikn that is an insightful remark. Its a device...of course he could leave work earlier or take more leave, if he REALLY wanted to see you, so he is using it as a block I thikn. Probably unconciously too, he may not even be conciously aware he is doing it.
Try doing something different when he comes over?? Let your barriers down? Show him the squidgy centre?? Maybe he will respond better? If I am wrong, or that is too scary.. then ignore me!
