I totally agree that he is being selfish. I know that. I'm just trying to find a balance between being a friend so that I can be a WOAFWL and yet still not be approving of the stitch. Why is she still there? Because she is leaving the USAF in July and wants to just stay there so that she can collect BAH, not have to pay rent, and save money.

Lord, I think about all of it, and it's just too overwhelming and more than anybody, including him, has a right to ask. I know my As are in the past, and I know they won't happen again. But he doesn't trust that. I don't blame him to an extent, but at the same time, it's a simple enough question. Is the marriage worth saving or not? And as long as she is living there, the answer for him is no. He realizes that the ball is in his court right now and he is totally using it to his advantage to put things off, not do some things, do other things. And all the dang while, his chain of command appears to be backing him up, so he thinks he is right. He doesn't want to be married right now. It should be so obvious to me because 1. he tells me. and 2. his actions. so why the hell am i so friggin confused??

he doesn't want to prove anything to me right now. he doesn't think he has to. he thinks i am the one with everything to prove, and to an extent i agree that i have to continue to prove that i am trustworthy....but how long is reasonable to give someone? if they are doing everything they can to prove they have changed, when do you start saying okay, i have to believe this person.

another option is to just move back in. just let him know that i will be moving back in a week and he needs to find somewhere else for OW to be.

i haven't told my parents about OW either. because i know they would go thru the roof. *even given my past*. i'm not sure they would ever forgive him, whereas his parents have already forgiven me. but. that's not my problem. that is a consequence for his own actions.
I hate my life and want this dang drama OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Melissa.

PS do the DB coaches work weekends??

M

"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."

1,2,3