Dear craig (and dear God), do not repeat a behavior that doesn't work. So ask yourself whether you've "been there done that" and what happened when you did, before you do it.
I just don't know what those are yet. ( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Actually the night after I signed the paperwork I did call her and tell her verbatim.I told her I did not want this at all.I made it clear this was the last thing that I wanted to do. She just said I know that.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I will admit , I am with out words to explain my situation with my wife. I look at FIB's wife and how far off the wall she is, and I look at my wife and they are total opposites, my wife has not been mean, has not been angry at me, at times I think it would be easier to let go if she did show some anger and hostility, I know that sounds crazy. There has been none of that. We have been friendly and civil for the majority of the last 16 months. I have prayed consistently for her protection. She is unhappy and she needs to figure this out on her own.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
yes she does, unfortunately for you. Someone helped me when they said that my h "had to figure out this puzzle by himself and that my standing over his shoulder trying to give him the answers, or monitoring how far along he is, slows him down..."
hope that helps. You want to speed this up? Then back off big time. And take comfort, a LOT of comfort that you are not in FIB's shoes...seriously. THere is hope in your sitch, btw. She'd burn all her bridges with you if she were sure that was the way to get thru to you in her finality but she lacks finality and that is a good good thing for you.
Hold on my friend. I did. And so far, that's a good thing.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25yrs , if I backed off any further I would end up in the pacific ocean. I would say that signing the final D papers sounds pretty final to me. I am not trying to be a wise guy about it but I have not tried to give her any advice or suggested anything to her to help her along the process.I doubt she even knows she is going through a MLC.I treat her with love and respect , we laugh and get along pretty well, she is just hell bent on getting the divorce, even if it has taken her almost 18months to get it done. I will say that since she moved into her apartment, I only talk to her, I don't see her nearly as much as when she was in the trailer.
Last edited by craig54; 02/05/0908:16 PM.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
sorry buddy. It hurts to be where you are. I think I already told you this but in case I didn't, I do have two relatives who divorced only to remarry years later. It does happen. Fwiw, they both say the 2nd time around was better. My uncle died and his wife and kids were with him, and that's way better than it would have been if they had not recon....and my cousin is still with his wife, (former ex w?) and they have now been m 14 years, (plus whatever the 1st M?). As I said, it happens. I don't think either couple expected it to happen when they Div though.
((( ))) j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
is there a chance she wants you to fight for her and the M? Does she know or believe you to be a passionate man? Is she just bored with things being blase and needs you to wake up and sweep her off her feet? Does any of this resonate with you?
And how are your finances? You mention living in a trailer so I assume those are close quarters. How far is her apartment? Does she like the rest of her life, like her job and friends and does she have any passions/hobbies?
( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
is there a chance she wants you to fight for her and the M? Does she know or believe you to be a passionate man? Is she just bored with things being blase and needs you to wake up and sweep her off her feet? Does any of this resonate with you?
And how are your finances? You mention living in a trailer so I assume those are close quarters. How far is her apartment? Does she like the rest of her life, like her job and friends and does she have any passions/hobbies?
( j )
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Finances, we have a home we purchased new in 2002, which I live in. Last april she moved into our travel trailer in a local rv park, in november she moved into her apartment. We are paying all bills including mortgage and her apartment out of one account. She has lots of hobbies, sewing, craft type hobbies, etc.As far as fighting for her, I do not have an answer to that. She knows I love her and and not a quitter.I would love to sweep her off her feet.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
