So it was raining today, So I made some home made chicken soup and new York cheese toast and had the fire place lit when W got home from work. After she ate. (She said the soup was delicious) and had settled down to watch her soaps I asked her if she could pause it for a moment.....
Wife, Last week I was angry and frustrated, and I said and did some mean things that I now regret. I am sorry for saying those hurtful things to you and I am sorry I gave you my wedding ring back. I feel naked without it.
Wife : "there is no reason to be sorry" Me : "I said some mean things and I am sorry" Wife : "That's ok... Your ring is in my jewelry box"
Me : "Thanks"
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
To be TOTALY honest with you..... Wife may have been tired from work but her attitude kind of seemed "As IF". When I asked for my ring back. But her attitude is not my concern right now. I am going to do the Love dares anyway. I have all along been doing the first two days.
Day 1: Love is patient
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2 NIV TODAY’S DARE The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative.
Day 2: Love is kind
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. —Ephesians 4:32 TODAY’S DARE In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
I have not said anything negative to W since that "talk" two weeks ago. As for the acts of kindness.. I have had all the dishes washed, son's homework done and Dinner ready when she got home from work.
I also have been doing some extensive house cleaning.
It may be cheating but I am planning on starting day 3
Day 3: Love is not selfish
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.
—Romans 12:10 TODAY’S DARE Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I [...]
On V day....and continuing from there Last night when I went to bed my ring was on top of her jewelry box. Her jewelry box has red velvet on the top and with my ring on top if reminded me of how you would display a crown or trophy. It was kind of funny when Yoyo said that the guy in the movie made her think of me.. She was more accurate than she thinks...
The flowers I got W when she got the job looked just like the first set he got his wife...
But Valentines day one's WILL be like the Roses.....
Like I said that I was going to keep doing the love dares without thought of receiving anything in return.. At least for 40 days.. But in the back of my mind someone wrote to me and asked.....
Has Wife’s attitude changed these last few weeks because I "canceled" the separation or because I gave her my ring and she was relieved that I have given up? No more pressure?????
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
You would have to do a controlled experiment with 100 wives. 50 of them you would give the ring back and two days later have a team of professional psychologists measure their happiness factors. The other 50 you cancel the separation, and two days later measure the happiness factor. You will need to control for all other outside stimili, such as new jobs, layoffs, car accidents, phone calls from family, etc.
Working in the measurement industry like I do I have found that any graph, Chart or data can be made to have the outcome you want..Half full "man we lost half our product".. Half full.."Wow we are half way to the top"..
I am not going to worry about W's "motives" at this point. I have work to do now.. A direction to take... at least for 40 days... well 38 days.....
When I start day 3 I will be updating what I did and what the outcome was... Let's see what happens this weekend.. W is supposed to move out of son's room....
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
All this statistical talk reminds me of the card I just sent my sis for Valentines.
It says something like (sorry I don't remember the exact numbers)... 40% of wives surveyed think their @ss is too big, another 40% think their @ss is too small. (Open the card)... and the other 20% say they would have married him anyway.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Journaling.... Today after I got home I called wife at work and asked her if she would rather have me go get take out pizza or make some home made BBQ pork fried rice and pot stickers.. She said she would like the pork. So I set out and got everything I needed and made dinner. It was almost ready when she got home. My Daughters came by and they talked for awhile. Wife was telling them that she has to listen to the 20 yo guys at work talk about girls all day. After they left wife came in and told me that she was going to the movies with our son and her sister tomorrow..(Here is where I blew it) I said "thanks for the short notice" ya I know.....NEGATIVE
Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
I thought about this right when the words were coming out of my mouth. So I back slid on my "dare" but hey I caught it right? I am learning.
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Hey sweet cheeks!! Sorry I haven't been around, more of a lurker these days, although H has been on the computer non-stop, I haven't been able to do anything but work.
Sometimes we can't help the way we feel, and I think it IS ok to show that. I do find that I am too sensative, but im learning to overcome that. It work in progress. I know how sensative you are, but im just like that, and I probably would have said the same thing. It over don't worry about it, You know it probably wasn't the best thing to say, but I do think she needs to realize once in awhile that she does say Inconsiderate things. Sara might hit me, but its ok
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Hope things are going ok with you. Thanks...I am not worried about it. I let it go already. I think being "aware" is important. This morning on my way to work I found myself slipping back into the "past" again I caught myself. I know W & I are not as close to reconnecting as I thought / hoped we were getting. But I am not going to try to figure her out. Seems part of the time the wall comes down.. Mostly when we are alone..And then it pops back up when wife and I are around others. That is when I have my problems also. I start those evil thoughts about "if they only knew" and then I am sure my attitude must change a little on the outside. I am fighting those thoughts.. They are happening less and less. Saffie knows it is hard for me to be still. It's hard for me not to have an agenda. And when I see something is not working I change lanes too fast. Once I start the "love dares" I will at least be occupied for 38 days... This weekend W is supposed to move out of son's room. I am going to stand my ground on this and try sooooooo hard NOT to say ANYTHING negative to Wife.
Take care.
Oh ya we Finley got rain.... MIL new lawn I planted just might t stay green this summer......
Take care of yourself (I'm not there to do it for you) Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
