MWG, you seem to not understand our points. We are not saying you can fix your H or make him see sense. We are not saying talk to him or don't fix meals for him (I know you say you don't but..) for his sake.
We are saying do it for you and your children. Take control of your own life, don't sit back and say I can't fix him. I can't talk to him. In one way you seem to be burying your head in the sand and saying "this is what it is,I am powerless to change the situation" To some extent that may be true but you can change you. You are a strong woman and are getting by wih your online selling, but really it is just getting by. The debts are mounting. Maybe FIL will bail you out, people are kind but life is getting harder for us all financially.How will hand outs save your marriage and make you all a family again.
Action needs to be now. Your girls are growing up and may go off to uni or whatever. is H still going to come and sit by himself then. I thought your son was doing management training he will no doubt move away-to progress in his job. Show your kids there is a world out there and a life to be had and that we all make choices and take care of ourselves.It is not just a matter of luck. Show them you value you as a person, as a woman. If you cannot talk to your H without yelling etc, write him a letter and hand it to him, then get to discuss it all. I am sure you can pray to God to guide your mouth on this occassion and give you the strength and courage to state your needs and what you will and will not tolerate any longer. YR had her h return and now has a great m, but she did stand up for herself and set boundaries whilst they were separated. You are not powerless in this, it maybe just feels like it. Take care.
