Yesterday was really nice. We all stayed home and watched the Super bowl. W cooked a wonderful dinner and the interactions between us were very pleasant. We cuddled some on the couch and over all had good time. No relationship talk and she told me who she was texting to the few times she got on her phone. No expectations.....
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Thank you MMF!!! I'm alive and kicking taking each day with the big man upstairs guidance. PMA!!
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
So Friday comes around and I take "her" car to work. She has to work early and texts me that she has a ride to and from work so I don't have to come home early from work to let her have the car. Normal Friday night... kids spend the night at friends houses and I have the place to myself for a little while. Later that night... she comes home from work. Now I happen to know what the OM drives...hell I know where the bastard lives and works but I digress. I see the lights in the window and check it out. By this time she is on her way in the house. Car pulls away....
She was dropped off by OM
I'm pissed.
*insert random thoughts about chest thumping, manly things that involve baseball bats and tire irons... * But I know that if I act on those impulses it could lead to police, jail and most importantly , never seeing my kids again. Besides the BOM never stepped foot on my property. Road only.
So she comes in and I figure out that she is pretty well lit. I ask who dropped her off..."it was OM" I say "oh how nice. You don't think that having your boyfriend drop you off at your home is a bit low?" "well was I supposed to walk home" she says. ride your broom I thought BUT didn't say. "You could have called me" (she knew the kids weren't home) and she says...again "and what was I supposed to do walk home?" Ohhh a redundant drunk! At this point I see its going no where so I wrap it up... "You could have called" I said walking away. She proceeds to walk through the living room bumping into a few things, changes her clothes in the bed room and comes back out to her normal spot on the couch and passes out in about 15 mins. Before she passes out I ask about doing the taxes at HRB on Saturday rather business like. She mumbles her answer and goes off to Lala land. Saturday she is hung over. I'm pretty sure she spent some time worshiping the porcelain god. Showers up and we go get our taxes done. We stop at the local gas and go joint and she gets us smokes and something to drink. She gets herself a gatorade and OJ. Now she doesn't EVER drink gatorade unless she's hung over.. heh Nothing more is said about the OM dropping her off. She is nice to me the rest of the weekend including our S10 blue and gold dinner on Sunday.
So yeah there must be a boundary there but like Punk told me..I'm the bad guy either way if I do something or say something about it to her. But I could loose what little respect I have with her. Things that make you go HMMMMM???
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
Journaling.... So ever since then she hasn't brought it up... I haven't given her an opportunity to do it again either. Ive readjusted my work schedule a few times to meet to demands of having one car.
She's been nice to me the entire week too. V day comes and I get her a few books by her favorite author just to show her that I care. No mushy cards no BS. She smiles and thanks me a few times. But as in ever Vday she has to work so again its me and the gang. Our boys spend the night at a buddy's house so its just me and D8. We make jello and watch TV and just in general, be goofy. It was a good night I also talked to my homie Punk, on the phone for a time too. Later I get a text, "I wont be driving tonight, be home in the morning." Ugh! Ya that irritated me some. Thanks for talking me down Punk! The toughest thing is D8 waking me up and asking wheres Mommy? Why didn't she come home? All I could say was "I don't know Hunny." All yesterday I'm indifferent to her. She knows I'm not happy with her. I don't act PO'd but just "not happy" to her.
We watch the Daytona 500. GO JR!!!!!!!! The boys have their buddy spend the night at our house so W goes and buys wings for all of us. She alternates between the book and the race. I'm still indifferent towards her. Later she gets a call from a long time friend of ours who lives in Florida. I spoke to her a few days before and brought her up to speed on our sitch. She also called me on the 14th to wish me a happy Vday. she knows what I'm going through because she had a BF who cheated on her as well.Always our FL friend didn't know about half the crap that W was doing. Must have been an interesting convo because W took it in another room and they were on the phone for quite some time.
Later after kids are settled she is still reading. She is the type that once she starts a book she will read it though often in one or two days. I tuck the gang in and wish everyone a good night. Cut to this morning and she is awake. Hmmm?? I asked her if she finished her book and she said yes, about 2am. Its now 6am. Cant sleep? she replies yes. I wonder if that's guilt and the Lord at work?
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
More journaling... This weekend the kids went to their Aunts for a birthday party/sleepover. That left me home alone until W came home from work. I full expected her to "go out" and not come home until morning. 9:30am she rolls in. Of course I'm not surprised. Sunday we went and picked up the kids and stayed for Sunday dinner. (Sunday lunch actually) Most of her family was there and it was a good time. They all know whats going on and it makes me a tad uncomfortable but I don't let it show. Sometimes I wonder just how the hell a person can lead a double life like this. How can you not realize the pain and bull and mental stress that your causing your spouse? *sigh* Sorry, I know the answers to these questions....Just had to vent.
Gman Me 40 W 30 kids B 11 B 10 D 8 Been here off and on since 06. PA Confirmed Dec 08.. With God, anything is possible. Do or do not there is no try. Sometimes you have to roll the hard six...
I know you know, but we still keep asking ourselves the same questions don't we?
I hope things are a little better for you. The post about her being dropped off made me turn kinda green and while I look fabulous in a deep green, as a skin color....not so much.
I also talked to my homie Punk, on the phone for a time too.