I am such a moron! Here I was thinking that things were going in the right direction, and then BLAM I go right back to square one.
H came over for dinner tonight, and just seemed distant from the minute he walked in the door. Didn't say anything about the house, dinner, me, the kids, nothing. After dinner, just started doing his own thing. He hasn't seen the keds in 2 days. Hasn't spent any time with me since sunday, but polishing his boots was more important.
after the kids were in bed, stupid me thought we could cuddle, maybe more, and H starts to pretend that he is tired. I say pretend, because the minute he lays down in bed he starts TM. I walked in to say goodnight before leaving for work and hear the phone shut quickly. Of course it's under the covers. When I asked him if he had his phone in bed, he snapped that he needs it if "I get a work call". Whatever, you can't hear it from the bedside table? I didn't say anything, just kissed him on the cheek and walked out.
Why do I continue to punish myself. Obviously, he isn't done with his "friend". Obviously, I am not important enough. Oh sure, he wants to be with me when he needs money, food, or stuff. But, then the apartment is there, and the fun awaits. I'm so sick and tired of being used.
