I want to comment on two things - one that Ian said and one that Bill said.
First Ian:
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I also think you don't need to ask or talk about reconciliation, future crystal balls, or retroveille with your x-wife. Cocoons come off at different paces on butterflies. If you get to anxious and try and break the chrysalis, you can kill the emerging butterfly.
I couldn't agree more. Instead of focusing on her so much, you're really going to have to stop here and look at yourself. It wasn't just your wife who went on a journey. You did too. And it should be clear by now that you went into that other relationship without the end of your marriage ever being resolved in your heart. You have to resume YOUR OWN journey now, just as your wife will have to finish hers. And it's not fair that you would get to have a sidekick because that's not going to get you wherever it is you're truly meant to be.
And this from Bill:
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Maybe it's too late. Only you know that for sure. And if so, it's no condemnation on you.
Absolutely. If you decide on your own, by searching your own heart, that you just can't go through this, no one here would condemn you for that. The road you have already traveled was rough enough. The one you can choose to go down now is a new kind of hell and though the road may well be blessed, that does not guarantee it will be smooth. In fact, I can almost promise you it won't be. But neither will moving on and possibly spending a lifetime wondering 'what if?'. So pray. Find out what He has to say. See where He takes YOU. Leave everything else in His capable hands. If you try to steer this thing you can't imagine the potholes that are out there. Search your heart and pray. Whatever you decide will be respected.
