Which direction do I go?

[Bworl]

So many of us don't make it through the crap period. So much hurt is dished out; every ounce of self-confidence we had is blown apart. That period of time where our spouse is stepping away does an incredible amount of damage.

When we finally get smart and leave them alone, usually the full out assault begins to temper a bit. We've backed off, they are happy we've backed off (since they didn't really want much of anything to do with us anyway), and things calm down. We begin the slow process of getting our legs under us again.

For some of us, that's where things end. There is a bit of inevitability that comes over us. Maybe a divorce actually happens, or maybe we just finally accept that the marriage is over. Could be that our spouse has finally delivered enough blows through their words and actions that we lose any desire we once had to continue the fight. Could be that we honestly reach the point where we just no longer want it anymore.

It doesn't sound to me like you ever completely closed the door. The very fact that you have these questions in your mind suggests to me that there is still a part of you inside that wants your whole family back again.

If you would end things with this new person if you knew your wife was seriously entertaining thoughts of trying to rebuild your life, then I think you've already made your choice.

And hearing your wife now say that she doesn't know, doesn't change the choice that is already living inside of you.

You can hedge your bets on a football game or in the stock market, but doing so in your relationships is really not all that cool. I think you know that.

But see, YOU have to get to the point where you're willing to be honest with yourself, BEFORE you can even be honest with these two women in your life.

From my perspective, regarding your wife, it sounds like there is now a chance.

That's something that I assume was not there before.

Maybe it's not fair to ask, but what would you have given for such a chance BEFORE?


Maybe it's too late. Only you know that for sure. And if so, it's no condemnation on you.


Or maybe you're just afraid of being disappointed and hurt again. And I think most of us could understand that. Just remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained.


Blessings,

Bill