Dianes Roller Coaster Ride continued... lol

[Jayce]

Diane, your H grew up fighting with people. He doesn't want to fight with you. Tell him that's not what you want him to do. Tell him you want him to fight FOR you and its himself he has to fight. His fears, inhibitions, desire for distance, and preference for silence concerning your need.

If he doesn't want to lose you, he has to fight his internal scared little boy. A counselor can help him find the way to do that. Tell him that, too. I'm sure he hasn't thought of it that way, but that's what it is. He has to do the heavy lifting here and has no idea how to get past his self-imposed limitation.

Ask him which he fears most: losing you for good? or getting past his immature fear of opening up.

Then again, there's the real fun one, if you don't want to fight about it, do what I want then there's no longer anything to fight about. (Leave it to me to think of two cutting remarks)Actually no sarcasm is intended-just do what I want & don't fight. Problem over.

He won't be losing himself, he'll be finding himself. Growing up to be the man he's always wanted to be. But he won't realize that until he actually makes the change & experiences it for himself. Being afraid to live closely with a family has to be tough especially when he's probably always wanted a close family. He must be a very lonely man. Fighting about fighting instead of communicating about your marriage.

Ah, well, your loneliness is all you can fix.
Working tom'w-unexpected -busy day. Fire in one of the girls' apt. bldg & she has to deal w/wet furniture, clothes. Poor kid.
J