Hey my friend, listen, I know you know that you are not a failure. You are a wonderful, compassionate person and a loving mother. Your son is a little lost right now. You could have been Mother Teresa and it would not have mattered.
Your son is testing the waters of adulthood. He is lost and confused. He is having to grow up and make some decisions regarding his life and it is scary.
He should be your concern right now. Do what you can for him and help him on the journey, but ultimately he is the one who has to figure it out.
S, please, learn from my mistakes. Do not try any sort of physical touch with your h. It is not you, it is him. Do not take it personally, it is all part of the MLC. Most of them feel the same way as your h. If I even touch mine on the shoulder he jumps like its fire.
Whatever. I just try not to go near him. And I know that you cannot understand why your h doesnt just want to try. I feel the same about mine. No amount of talking about it or yelling about it is going to make him be able to.
I know it is hard to take. I know that it hurts like he*l. You just have to trust me on this, stop all pursuing. Stop questioning and do not expect that he will change his mind in C.
You could do this. I know you can. Treat him cordially like a good neighbor. Limit phone calls unless it is about your s. And even then only when it is necessary.
Count to 20 before you contact him, better yet, wait 24 hours. I know you want the connection, but it is better if you let him be.
