S, I'm not surprised at all at the way he lashed out at you. Please don't try to tell him what his problems are...he doesn't want to hear it. Yes, you pushed a button when you mentioned he still had feelings for you....that is the root of the lashings, but you have to understand he doesn't want to have feelings for you right now.
I'm very sorry you were tossed in the ring, but again, we've tried to tell you many times....leave him alone. You are constantly setting yourself up for heartache. You put your heart out there to be smashed and trust me....he did exactly that.
The lessons for you are hard because you aren't listening to what we are telling you. You are not alone in this. Whenever a new poster comes here, that poster thinks his/her situation is so totally different and then one day, after we are blue in the face and ready to throw our hands up, they finally get it....LEAVE THE SPOUSE ALONE, FOCUS ON YOU!
You thanked him once and you certainly didn't need to thank him again. As for dropping the paper off...put it in his mailbox or mail it to him. You didn't need to call him about it. You were looking for an excuse to continue talking to him. Wow! He had you right where he wanted....he knew you were still clinging for dear life to him and that's when he took the opportunity to destroy your heart once again. What to do? When they go nuts like this, say I'm sorry you feel that way and walk away. Don't stand there like a door mat and take that crap. You do not deserve it.
I'm going to recommend one more time that you start reading the MLC Resource Threads and the MLC Archives. I strongly urge you to do this. Trust me, you will learn some valuable lessons and insights from those threads. The mistakes you are making, could be cut in half just by reading them. Remember....we've all been down that road and know what it feels like to be verbally abused and mistreated by the mlcer when they are in their most ugliest anger stage.
Pick yourself up and get reading those threads!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
