WP, My H moved out of the house stopped sleeping at the house January 3, and officially moved out 2 1/2 weeks ago. It actually made it easier to stop the pursuing, and the funny thing it, that's what made H more interested in me. I had the same fears that letting him go would reassure him that it's better without me. Instead, it seems to be showing H that I'm someone worth being with.
I know how hard it is, but the principles in the book are written for a reason and they work. Follow them! Stop focusing on making your W's memories happy and work on making your memories happy. The fighting is stressful to both of you and isn't working.
As far as the fear goes, I understand. What are you afraid of? That she will leave you? Isn't that what is already happening? Start working through what will happen if your fears are realized. Aren't they already happening? So what is it going to hurt to stop fighting, stop pursuing, and start showing your W that you are the man she says she wants.
You know what to do, now it's time to do it. I have faith. God Bless! K
