So yesterday, a package came in the mail from B. It was the CD he had mentioned and a note. I thought it would just be a copy of a jam session with a friend of his or something, but it actually was a commercially available release, shrinkwrapped and everything, of a piece he performed (and recorded) sometime in 2008 for four classical musicians and four chinese musicians.
The note said:
1-26-09 Transformer, Happy Chinese New Year! Finally, we have finished the year of the rat! Now onto another fresh start with the Year of the Ox... Here is the CD I mentioned. I haven't listened to the whole thing, but I'm playing on the first four tracks. In other words, I'm not sure it is good, but it is interesting at the very least. The four chinese musicians said the composer was using very traditional material... Anyway, hope you are well! BXXX
Dunno what this means? I am not sure why he sent me this CD. ???? Maybe he is proud of it, but he also had other commercial releases he never even played for me when we were together? Maybe he was just cleaning off his desk and thought he could get rid of it by giving it to me? Maybe he thought I would be interested, because I have also collaborated with musicians using traditional material from other cultures? Maybe it is because after he told me about the project, I asked him a follow-up question about it in an email he never answered, so he thought I was really into it? ???? ???? ????????????
The note seems... cautiously friendly, kind of arms-length and sterile? But the written word, post-bomb, has not been is most expressive medium. I guess he is making some kind of effort?
I think I will respond the way I would if another friend sent me a gift--call them and thank him for it and tell him what I liked about it.
OR, I could call him, make small talk to lull him into a false sense of security, and then ask him "WHAT HIS MOTIVATION WAS" for sending the CD. [maniacal laughter] ["I am ... uncomfortable listening to this CD... the gut reaction I am having is... anxiety that we are going to have some sort of big serious conversation."]
While I was falling asleep last night, I realized this is the second time that he has reached out seemingly unprompted in a row. ???? Not sure if it counts as him initiating though because it was sort of an outgrowth of our last text exchange???
