Post Finale

[saffie]

But Jeff, whether you and your W were together or not, your children would gradually see less and less of you.

Now, if you were in a happy M there would be your W to fill that void and the H and W would start to do more together again on their own as the children got older; they would regain their life together as adults.

What happens when you force the children to come see you over things they want to do? I know in my experience it caused a whole lot of tears before it was sorted.

I know this is a bit of an extreme example, but a friend of mine had his W walk out on him when his son was 18 months old. His W remarried. At the age of 5 his son asked his mom if he could call his step dad 'dad' and his natural father by his christian name; he got upset trying to explain at school that the man he lived with wasn't his dad. His dad was extremely upset as you can imagine but he went with it for his son's sake.

Then when the son got to the age of 11 - 16 he cut down the visitataion to his dad because he wanted to hang out with his mates and again his dad agreed although it hurt him.

From the age of 17 onwards - the age of driving over here, his son started upping the amount of time he spent with his dad, and now they are really good friends and see a lot of each other- the son is now 27. What my friend lost when his son was younger he has regained now.