I know that pursuing only makes H retreat, and I had been doing OK on the whole through the month of January for the most part. But the past couple days.........well, they sucked. And I am angry at myself!!
Our C is an interesting guy and sometimes I think he is way off base and other times I think he is Yoda!! He has 30+ years of experience with the department of corrections, so he has worked with serial killers and such! This is his "retirement job" because he wanted to work with families and hopefully help before things before they got to the level of needing to be locked up. His wife of 35 years is always around the office doing odd jobs. She's a tiny little woman and real sweetheart.
C's insight with S17 has been very valuable!! Of course that's understandable because of his extensive work. It's also a big thing I think that H has continued to go to IC. C does not pass moral judgements and feels ethically that it would be totally wrong for him to try to steer a client this way or that way, unless it's a case of abuse of course. He has said that H frustrates the life out of him with his "carrying his own bucket" speech, and I guess he feels OK saying that to me, but to H he will be much more "diplomatic" about what he says on that subject. Remember, H is his IC client, and as such deserves C's impartial attention.
I understand C's position, but sometimes I just wish he would be more open/blunt sometimes about what he really thinks about H's behavior. To me he says that he can't imagine being without his wife of 35 years, and he doesn't understand why H feels the way he does. But, he can't tell a client who to stay married to or leave. He can only tell H what the consequenses are of such choices, and help him decide if he is willing to accept those consequenses. C also says H has never talked about the PA, and C would like to discuss that issue, but H won't do it, and C can't force a client.
So, I will continue to see this C and hope.
[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]]
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
He has 30+ years of experience with the department of corrections, so he has worked with serial killers and such! This is his "retirement job" because he wanted to work with families and hopefully help before things before they got to the level of needing to be locked up. His wife of 35 years is always around the office doing odd jobs. She's a tiny little woman and real sweetheart.
