Trying to let go........with love!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, [[[[ST]]]].

Thank you for your continued encouragement and wise advice. Yep, the past couple of days have been challenging to say the least.

It's sort of funny if you look at those horoscopes I posted for H and me a few days ago..... I don't believe in those things, but it's still interesting.

I called H to bring him up to date on the info I have gotten this morning regarding treatment. He was calm and cordial with me and thanked me for taking care of this. I asked him what his plan was for next weeks C sessions, and he said he planned on being there for both. (i.e. his IC, and mine) I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I'm scared.

Today, I am so very exhausted, but at least I'm not crying any more.

I think I do need to go to the house on Saturday. If I don't, that would send a message to H (and more importantly myself and S17!) that I am weak. I have to pick myself up and dust myself off again, and move forward.

I had planned to go do some stuff at the house tonight without H there.....but I am so tired, I am not up for that. I think I will, however, do that tomorrow. It's a good 180 for me and hopefully will get me back up on the higher road. I don't know if H will see this in a positive light that I am doing these things even after meltdown, or if he will see it as pursuing.

But, again, it doesn't really matter what H thinks anymore.......it's about what I think of myself.

Thank you, again, ST for your support! It is very much appreciated!! More than I can say! (and that's saying something for a woman with such a big mouth like mine!!! )