((((NC)))), I agree with Donna, avoid her all you can. Take care of it over email. I believe it's better for the boys not to know what is going at all. You don't have to confront conflict in front of them to show them that you are strong father. They know that already. Be the loving and supportive parent that they so deserve. Let them be little boys. They are having to grow up way too quickly because of the mess your wife has created. If your wife does try to start conflict with you in front of the boys, walk away from her and tell her that you will address the situation in an email. Do not let her suck you in with the boys around.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon