Ready2Change (9) Divorce Papers Signed

[Ready2Change]

Here is short/condensed list of things that have worked for me:

) Learn from others - books,books,books and listening with a beginners (open) mind.
) Work on me - I have 100% control of my thoughts, my words and my actions - I choose to make them positive.
) No intentions / no expectations
) Pass out what I want to receive (this is a universal law)
) STOP doing what DOES NOT WORK - do more of what works
) Do 180's - Change the things I don't like about myself - Things spouse said gave me good insight into what I need to do - At first the changes felt very uncomfortable. They soon become part of who I am.
) Forgiveness - Forgive myself and other for any PERCEIVED hurtful things that have happened - do not harbor resentment (It is not helpful).
) Patience - things continually change. Things will get better as long as I don't fuel the fire.
) Kindness - Be kind to everyone, even the people that I perceive as hurting me
) Empathy --> "I am sorry you feel that way"--"I understand you feel that way" - "It must be hard to feel that way" -"I see" 'Mmmmm"......
) 100% focused on listening / understanding - remember details
) Be here now - Enjoy right now - no reason to let the past control me or the fear of the future control me
) Emotional Raincoat - Spouse has repressed most of her anger for 40 years. Since I love her, I will willingly let her vent that anger at me and not take it personal.
) Detachment - I do not let others emotional garbage become mine. I let them own there garbage. I own my own.
) Reward positive behavior, ignore the negative - Focus on the positives and let the negatives roll past with out reacting