I don't know. An exchange between W and I starts out on "business-like" terms, but it is always a mine field. One word or or mention by either me or her triggers an attack by her -- it seems sometimes she has this pathology that drives her to reestablish the hostilities, as if the lack of conflict between us might mean she is betraying the worldly value system she now clings to.
My motivations are for some misguided notion of peace and cooperation for the sake of our children. But she baits me so easily. And if I attempt to pull myself out of the confilct before it ensues, she will accuse me of being passive-aggressive. I am d*mned either way in her mind -- so why bother?
Yes, it would be better to just not deal with her directly ever again. But I worry about what that would demonstrate to my sons, seeing their father also avoid confronting the difficulties in life. Still that might be better than seeing how their mother and father cannot get along.
