This sucks, but it needs to come out, it's extremely tough, but better to deal with now than much further down the road or never.
Now is the time to let yourself feel what you need to and not deny any of it. Its normal and healthy even though it sucks big time. You have a lot of people who are here for you.
I'm so glad your being honest with yourself. Yes, there are many easier paths to travel, but the destination is worth far less.
Many times growth comes with pain, I do see a very strong person in you. There will come a time for another person if you choose to have one.
Right now, I think your absolutely right in regards to finding yourself again.
It all takes time. Be patient with yourself. You will get through this and come out of it better. I promise.
