You and I have some similarities. I seperated from my W back in Nov 2007 and fought (sometimes stupidly) like crazy to save the marriage. I filed for the D and there was a period where it seemed we might reconcile. After we tried mediation and the D was going to be dismissed, she told me to proceed with negotiations with L's and then I decided to move on and accept that I was going to be really divorce. Just like you, I met someone before the divorce was final - she however had been divorced for several years. My W had some sort of awakening and asked if she could have a second chance about a week or two before the divorce was final. I said no for various reasons.
You are faced with a difficult decision in the coming weeks/months. I understand how hard it can be to give up hopes of reliving some of the past.
I just want to point out a red flag...
Originally Posted By: ping1
About two weeks ago she called me crying on the phone for she was having trouble with the bank and refinancing the house.
Originally Posted By: pint1
She proceeded to say that in the past 2 months that her life has been living he!! and by this time she thought things would be easier but in fact they were getting harder.
As Frank says, you need to be very cautious about saving her once the hardships of life hit her. She needs to convince you that she wants back not out of convenience, but because of love.
Some of her revelations sound great and are a good sign that she has come out of the fog. Also her acknowleging her role in the breakdown in the marriage.
Another thing of concern is that you and your girlfriend both met while coming off each of your broken marriages. Maybe one or both of you are not truely healed and ready for a new long term relationship. I know that Ian just broke his off and I have been having some doubts about mine that I am giving time to figure out.
As others have questioned "What do you want?". I think the only way you are going to answer that with certainty is with some more time to consider all the possibilities.
