Thanks Mike, Ian, Bill and Amy. To answer Ian's questions.
1. The woman I am seeing right now does not know of the new developments, she does know that W called 2 weeks ago emotional on the phone. She is unaware of the past few days developments.
2. The woman I am seeing now does know that the reason I am no longer with my W is because W didn't want me anymore. She knows that I wanted to save my M and I did all I could do to salvage it. The OW is very skeptical of my W coming back to me as she feels in her heart that it would hit her sooner or later and she would possibly regret her decisions.
3. This is the hardest question of all, there is nothing more I want in life than to have my family back. W will not give me any indications on what she is feeling about working on us other than she has been moved by the movie and church. Her walls were higher than I could have ever imagined and she told me those walls are coming down as she now realizes that it took two of us to end our marriage, it was not only my fault although I do take most of the blame. She has recieved many bible versus in the past two weeks just showing up at her work, she doesn't want to just jump in to any feelings right yet. She actually had a verse left on her chair this morning when she arrived at work. She told me she found a pendant in her work parking lot last week that stated "Believe in him", she turned this in at the front desk and told the receptionist she had found it. The next day when she was leaving the receptionist called her over and said this pendant is yours, W stated "no, I found it and turned it in so the rightful owner would claim it." the receptionist told her "the rightful owner told her to give it to whomever found it as they found it for a reason." W is uncertain of what these signs are that are being thrown her way right now and she doesn't want to jump the gun.
The OW situation is very fragile, she is actually going through a D right now in which will be finalized at the first of March. Her husband cheated on her so she has her own guards up, her number one guard is another man leaving her.
I know I have to make a decision on this, it is not fair to OW if I am going to persue to salvage my family. I also know that OW will probably not have anything to do with me if I make that decision as she will feel violated by another man in her life.
W did tell me tonight that these feelings started hitting her about 2 months ago and she didn't know how to talk to me.
I did file for D to end the pain and move along with my life. I am in so much of a better place today then I was going through all of this. I can look at this situation so much clearer now then what I was able to do going through the whole seperation. I want to be cautious in the direction I go. I know that if W and I are to save our marriage, it will be a long process, there will need to be trust built back up on both sides. We would need counseling to help us through it. W and I are both scared.
