If I were in your shoes, I would let him have it w/both barrels. I'm sorry, but what the hell does he expect everyone to do? He's the only one w/a reliable car and he's put all of you in this mess. I say let him have it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think he does feel like God because people have pussyfoot around him for so long. He feels entitled to have everyone at his beck and call but only on his terms. This can continue for as long as he wants if nobody will stand up to him. So what he pays some bills, he ferries his kids about when he chooses and then he swans off to his OW and solitary life. He is the man of the house for goodness sake, these are his children,not just yours MWG. That is what he signed up for, speak up for yourself now MWG, whilst you have this strength of feeling otherwise the life you end up with will be of your own doing. Take him off the pedestle and see him for who he truly is. We are all saying the same thing.
i do not want to yell or be angry but i would appreciate it if you hear me out.
you come over, you never say a thing to anyone unless someone speaks to you first. normally, you ignore everyone and go right for the refrigetor and get soda then go outside, empty your cigarrette trash then go back out sit, smoke and drink soda.
you never ask how anone is doing, you very rarely call or text anybody here to see if we are okay, you rarely answer anyones texts. oh we try and text you but we cannot sit and wait around.
if something god forbid should happen, are you just going to ignore us? maybe from now on work on texting or calling back--it would make a difference in how people interact with you instead of thinking you just dont care.
you ve got a son who is a yong man who needs a father's guidance. he has not had that for five years now. all he knows is a father who cheats on his mother with an adulteress. you have a 17 year old daughter who so prays for you all the time, who wants to establish a relationship with you
you have a 15 year old who seems to have given up on a father she once loved but sees you as someone who only cares for himself and his current lifestyle.
i am not saying these things to hurt you..i am saying these things so that you see things from outside the box you currently live in.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Well that sounds good MWG, but first I would tell him facts about how bad the finances are and what does he think he could do about getting a job as his benefits won't last forever. Then say the rest of what you have to say because right now I don't think your H has any regard as to what or how his children are feeling or thinking. They do not figure on his ME radar.Neither do you at this moment in time, he treats you with such distain then throws in the odd ily and kisses.
He feels so entitled to do all the things you mention because he gives you his money. Might be best not to mention "all he knows is a father who cheats on his mother with an adulteress." cos he knows that,or just leave out the adultress bit. imo
I hope you get the courage to have this talk even if he doesn't respond you will feel so much better, your BP must be sky high. Take care.
H came over this afternoon and I was the only one home.
He came in, did not say hello and asked where everyone was, esp. D17 since it was her birthday. I told him that she had texted him and since she did not hear from him, made her own plans.
Then he left about 8:30. I walked him out thinking I would talk to him and he hurried to get in the car and I said, "You know, when the kids text you, it would be really a good idea if you could text them back because if they do not hear from you, they will do their own thing." THen he said he should have......he seemed in a big hurry, and said bye and quickly shut the door.
S18 came home about 8PM and later on, he told me that his dad seemed very strange--defensive and tense is what he said. I explained to S18 what had happened earlier. Then S18 told me to not bring anything up, its not worth it because I had told him how I felt about things.
The general consensus is that he was defensive and very tense and left rather abruptly. He still needs to know that it is not right the way he comes storming in.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
