Mr. M, just read about your W wanting to talk to you and I really don't see the need to give her an answer period. I think if you just got up and left and let her stew in her own mess for a few days that it would be good for her. Certainly do not do what you are tempted about "everyone makes mistakes....blah, blah, blah." That is just what she wants you to say! But, if you say nothing.....then she is left to wonder what you are going to do and how you are feeling. Time for her to suffer some of the consequenses for her actions, don't you think? Small price to pay if she has been unfaithful.
Quote:
"But only if she cuts it off completely with the OM. Until she does that, then she and I have nothing to talk about."
You could be sorry in the long run for making this "threat". For one thing, she will see it as a threat, and then she will see it as you being controlling and any other excuse she can find to through in for good measure. It could just end any chance of her breaking it off with the OM and push her to go farther with him.
Sandi, I don't see this as a threat. I see it as a BOUNDARY of MrM's. He's not saying "You can't have any contact with OM," he's saying "I can't live in a marriage (or even want to have a discussion about a marriage) where one partner chooses to invite a third person into it for an inappropriate relationship."
Until his wife ends all contact with her boyfriend, not only is there nothing to discuss, but -- physiologically -- she's in no condition to even discuss it if he DID want to. Her brain is simply awash in love dopamine.
