Mr. M, just read about your W wanting to talk to you and I really don't see the need to give her an answer period. I think if you just got up and left and let her stew in her own mess for a few days that it would be good for her. Certainly do not do what you are tempted about "everyone makes mistakes....blah, blah, blah." That is just what she wants you to say! But, if you say nothing.....then she is left to wonder what you are going to do and how you are feeling. Time for her to suffer some of the consequenses for her actions, don't you think? Small price to pay if she has been unfaithful.

Quote:
"But only if she cuts it off completely with the OM. Until she does that, then she and I have nothing to talk about."


You could be sorry in the long run for making this "threat". For one thing, she will see it as a threat, and then she will see it as you being controlling and any other excuse she can find to through in for good measure. It could just end any chance of her breaking it off with the OM and push her to go farther with him. But the point is that you may decide later that was the wrong answer to give right now. It does sound like an answer made out of anger and I don't think you need to show any emotion at all. Without showing emotion, it will make her wonder what you are feeling, thinking, etc. If by chance, you decide later to go the "friend-ly" route with her, you can tell her that you do not know how long you can continue any R with her.....even one of being friend-ly if she contines contact with the OM. I'm sure Puppy has explained the difference in being friends with a wife who has cheated on you and acting friend-ly towards her.

Again, that is just my POV. I know my H was always infamous about not giving an anwer to my questions or a response to what I said, so I know from experience that she won't fall over dead if you walk out without a word. I do agree with Puppy....she is setting you up for a bigger announcement. She is going to give it to you in small doses, I think. If you just sit there and continue to look at her for a few minutes and then slowly get up and walk out the door......if you are at her place (preferably)....I personally think, as a woman, it would make a bigger impact. But, I suppose it all depends on just how much she will reveal tonight.

Let us know how it goes.

Sandi


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!