Dear Waiting Patiently and Mr. Mistakes, I would like to comment on this quote by WP:
Quote:
I don't know what your beliefs are, but I'm a Christian, and what I am really beginning to struggle with is the judgement I am passing on my W for all of this. I don't want to just sit back and judge her because we are all sinners and all make mistakes, so it's hard to step back and not do that, but at the same time she just continues in this horrible cycle and won't/can't stop. Anyhow, I guess my point is to try to extend grace to your W and recognize that while she is hurting you and lying to you, you too are an imperfect person capable of the same kinds of sins.
I can appreciate what WP is saying and I agree with him. However, the scripture also says that we will know them by the fruit they bear. So, we don't always have to sit ourselves up as a "Judge" to know what they are doing or what they have bcome. In fact, we don't have to judge an apple to know just by looking at it that it is, in fact.....an apple! We have been educated in what an apple looks like, smells like and tastes like. We know many ways an apple can be used, how it grows, etc. We know quite a bit about apples from the information we gathered regarding facts about them.
I understand forgiveness and "grace"......believe me I do and appreciate it so very much and have experienced it so very much! However, I believe whether you are a Christian or not, you have a right, as a spouse, to know if your W/H is being unfaithful to you. As you said....don't be a doormat. Don't turn a blind eye, either.
The Bible says there is a time for everything. There is a time for showing tough love and a time to be soft like velvet. There is a time for standing strong and unyielding and a time for forgiveness and grace. It is just my opinion that he needs to gather the information and decide if he has an apple living in his house!
Take care, Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
