Hi Jon, thanks for the updates. I was getting concerned when we had not heard from you.
The OM's W does not sound like a healthy moral minded person for anyone to be around if she thinks that dirty TM's were okay. Makes me wonder if she would go in for spouse swapping or threesomes or some other perverted sexual activity. It is hard for me to imagaine that any wife would find if okay for "any" woman to talk to her husband in a dirty sexual way....much less her own friend! So, she is either the way I just described or else she has been put under the control of her H and is afraid to say anything differently. Unless you know of him being abusive......and he could be and nobody would have to know....then my first thoughts would be that she does not hold very high standards for her and her husband's MR.
I am so proud of your wife deciding to talk to a DB coach! They are the best from what I've heard. At least you know you will be getting guidance from somebody that will work to help you bust a divorce instead of telling you to split up and go find something else to make yourselves happy!
I hope your wife will find strength to completely cut the OM and his wife out of her life b/c until she does, she is at risk. I know you cannot control your W's actions, but after she has had some help from the DB coach and some time to get through this and you two are able to talk about it, then I hope you can help her (if she's still having issues about not continuing the friendship) to see how unhealthy it would be for your M. There are a lot of people out there to make friends with, but only the two of you in a M. And, for what it's worth, I just don't know that I would invite OM's W into my home if she showed up. That is just my opinion and how strongly that I feel she is really toxin to the MR.
Take care and please stay in touch.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
