When I get off work at 2:30 I am going home to take a quick nap. Then I am going take a nice long bubble bath and relax. Then I am going to go see the movie Gran Torino. At least that is what I have planned so far. Other than that, not sure.
I told him that I thought under the circumstances that it would be better for us to just do things with our own families. That way no one feels awkward. (I was very nice about it)
BUT....I kept my calm. I told him he could use the house to have his family over on the Saturday he has the kids and I would be glad to find something to occupy my time for a few hours. I just asked that he clean up the mess when they leave.
Well done. Nice compromise. You really proved to be the bigger person here.
Married - 19 years Noticed Problem - Aug 2008 THE Conversation - Oct 2008
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
You all are absolutely right. I am not ready to move forward.
I took time off from work yesterday to have some "me time" and it started out nice but ended up crappy.
I got home and took a bubble bath to relax (thanks to my friend an IM'ing me it was a very nice bath ) LOL!!!
I went to Chilis with a girlfriend of mine last night and we had a drink (YES, I stopped at one) I wish I drank myself under the table.
We spent about an hour together because she needed to get home to her 16 year old who is nothing more than a mamas boy. She never leaves him more than an hour.
Anyway, after that I met up with the guy I have been seeing for about 4 months now and we went to the movies. We went to see Gran Torino. Was it a good movie? I don't know because the whole time I was sitting there I was thinking. (And I forgot to turn my email alerts off on my phone so my phone vibrated through the whole movie as all of you were emailing each other. I so wanted to be involved with that instead of sitting at the movies.)
I tried really hard to have a good time but I couldn't. My heart was not in it. I kept thinking about what Jimbo said about having a band-aid. This guy is a band-aid. I don't want to hurt someone else by using them to fill a void I have. Now I don't know how to tell him I don't think I can see him anymore.
I am not ready to be dating or anything else. I am not over my stbx. I still have grieving for my marriage to get through. I want to be but I'm not. I may never be.
Jimbo, today may be the day I cry until I have no more tears.
My heart is breaking today and I think it is beyond repair. My mind is so messed up I don't know which way is up. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of everything...........
Actually if you go ahead and have that cry your heart will begin to finish healing T2.
It's the holding back and piling on the band-aids that messes you up.
Do not let all this conversation make you feel like you are back at the beginning because you are not.
I have been with you much of the way and you have moved through the process at a healthy and natural pace.
You just got a bit snagged at the end because you got excited about actually living again! There's no shame in that even though you now realize you jumped out of the frying pan and back into the fire too soon. All that matters is that NOW you are aware and since you haven't gotten into a committed relationship there's time to step back a bit.
So finish the journey. But NATURALLY. Don't sweat the process. Doing that just makes you slip into neutral.
And do not be pushed into anything. Grieving is a natural process like all the others you have been through. Correct, you are not ready for a relationship but that doesn't mean you can't have friends. In fact, you need them. Just stay more aware of the state of your own heart.
) LOL!!!