I know that you won't do this, but if I were in your shoes I would state this to him: "h, since we are in desperate need of a car and you are not always available and you are not working at this time, the only solution is for you to move back in and be here to assist with the driving." We cannot continue w/the situation it is. Besides, you don't know when you will get that tax refund. You have two choices...confront him w/this situation or ask your fil for assistance. It's to the point that something has to give here for you and your family. He's been sitting in that stew pot long enough.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
