My worst fears confirmed! Wife having EA/PA...

[Vdad]

25,

Well mixed bag actually. Getting ready to move out into my own place. She will be staying in the home for the next 90 days or so until our Chapt 13 plan is confirmed. I actually feel good/bad about the sitch. It will be a relief to be away from all of the drama and R talks. I will be able to really start DBing at that point.

Went on anti-depressants today. trying to even myself out a bit.
The depression was probably a BIG player in the start of my EA and docs feel it has been there on and off for years. We'll see.

She has agreed to mc AFTER I move out. Not sure if me asking her to do that is good or bad. She really is just agreeing to my request. Not sure if that sets up a good scenario. Thoughts on this would be nice.

Asked her where she was at with OM. She says everyday the pull diminishes. No more phone calls or texts. She does the occaisional flyby of his MS page but doesn't linger. She had taken hime off as a friend and then put him back on. No idea what that is about. I told her she was hanging on.

So overall it's day by day. I have moments where I am very sad and others wheree I am doing ok.

This all seems so surreal, like a bad dream I am going to wake up from. Yet I don't.

I have decided to give the separation 6 months once I am out and at that point if she hasn't changed how she feels after the space I will probably file for divorce and move on. If a reconcile happens after that it would be God's will but I don't want to sit there month after month waiting and being financially tied to her.

I am letting her go in a sense now, I have to start the detachment process and see where she goes with it. At this point I have no idea what will happen so I need to let it go and GAL!

Jeff