Don't leave the lawyer brochures around... just don't go there...
detach detach detach... give him space. Give yourself space. You both need mental and physical space to heal. The fact he hates you and is experiencing so much pain means he still loves you. He just needs time and space to deal with those feelings. And he may ultimately decide he can't deal with it and has to leave. But give him the space to figure this out on his own.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
