Hey guys thanks for the input. Although this is post DB stuff, it at least shows the struggles that one may have to move on. There are a couple of theories here that have been sent my way that try to explain my reluctance or inability to be totally content with the women that I am meeting. Theory number one is that my stbxw is not totally out of my system. Although I can verbalize it and do not think there is a chance in hell that we can get back together and stay together, maybe subconsciously, I am still hoping. Theory number two is that i am still healing and that i do not want to get hurt. Now if that were the case I would not even initiate contact. Finally theory number three is that I do not want to hurt someone else and therefore need to be absolutelly sure of the viability of the potential relationship.
Theory number four is that a woman need more to appeal to you now. This theory was actually applied to me from a friend and basically he was saying that I've grown a lot and women that used to appeal to me now don't because I'm looking for more.
The first woman I dated is a massage therapist. I think that we had a fun date, but, we really weren't compatible. She was into a bunch of hippy stuff like co-housing that are diametrically opposite to how I see life. So, we didn't go out again.
The second woman I dated was upfront from the beginning that she didn't want to date someone unless it could lead to marriage and I let her know that I'm still working through the process of getting divorced. We went out a few times and then I think she was starting to have strong feelings for me, so, broke things off pointing out that she's looking for a husband and I'm still running around looking for myself. Fair enough. She was close to being a keeper. No, I could see the two of us being happily married, but, not any time soon, and she's feeling the pressure of time.
Anyway, I think that you know what you're looking for and the women that you've been meeting aren't it. So, keep looking and enjoy the process.
